Tag: random thoughts

Can’t figure it out

Posted on by Ashlee Scheuerman in Writing

Now that things are settling down a bit, I’m left pondering a whole new bag of mysteries. I feel a lot of interest with my novella, M. It’s something I want to write, and in general, I definitely feel like playing the author game at the moment. There’s no sense of “writer’s block”, nothing like that. Nevertheless, this one isn’t coming easily. There’s a lot of dragging and struggling; the words come in bursts, then I don’t know what I’m doing again.

Instead of getting frustrated at the progress, I’ve just adapted. I handwrite as much as I can, and when I’m stuck, I leave it for a bit. Then I transcribe it all into my computer, making whatever necessary minor edits along the way, and find myself hooked back into the story long enough to spurt out another few hundred words – handwritten, so I can follow this same, convoluted pattern next time.

All I can really say is, I’m getting there. I don’t know why it’s so slow going when I’m excited, and happy with the story. I can’t see what’s halting me all the time. Maybe I’m just feeling more easily distracted than I realise.

There’s no foolproof, 100% guaranteed method for anyone. Some people write to a word count, some people write for a time limit, some people are surely getting outside help from the magic realm to write consistently and persistently as a proper, fulltime experience. Plenty of writers that I respect and admire write a hefty chunk a couple of days a week, and don’t even look at their stories at other times. Meanwhile, others would swear black and blue that the only way, the ONLY WAY, is to write every single day without fail.

I rebel against rules, so there’s definitely no single option open to me. I’ll do whatever works this time, and just remind myself to adapt again when it stops working.

And put just a little bit on blame on the other stories in my head that want to be written. Maybe what I really need to do is figure out how to divide my writing time to include work on multiple projects at once… (now wasn’t I just saying I need to do the exact opposite of that?).

~A

Sagittarius

Posted on by Ashlee Scheuerman in Thoughts

Whether or not you believe in the traits of the Zodiac, sometimes the descriptions are far too apt and entertaining. I’ve been a big fan of the Zodiac for as long as I’ve known about it. Be it the Western Zodiac, Chinese Zodiac, Native American Zodiac, or any other cultural Astrology belief, I think there’s some wisdom to be taken from all of them.

From a Zodiac page on Avia Venefica’s awesome symbology website, What’s Your Sign, we have this little description of the Sagittarius:

Sagittarius – The Centaur
November 22 – December 21
Here we have the philosopher among the zodiac signs and meanings. Like the Scorpio, they have great ability for focus, and can be very intense. However, they must channel their energy or they will waste time and wear themselves out going in too many directions at once. They are not very patient and expect quick results. However, when encountered with failure they make extreme comebacks often against incredible odds. They make loyal friends and lovers, but they do not handle commitment well as they refuse to be tied down while chasing philosophical pursuits.

Yeah. See the third and fourth sentences? I’ve been having a very Sagittarius week, doing everything at once, being impatient at the lack of results, and generally wasting a lot of time.

Now, that’s not too much of a bad thing. I’m also optimistic to a fault, and yes, I will bounce back from this week with more coffee-fuelled enthusiasm! I’m tempted to say, “I haven’t gotten anything done!”, but the reality is, I’ve gotten a lot of pieces of things done. Extra jewellery was produced for The Dragon’s Hoard, as well as writing out all the price tags I just received in the mail. I’ve been asked to participate as a sponsor for charity, and have to organise even more jewellery-related work for that. About four blog posts are half-written and saved for later.

I wrote, definitely, but I also edited as I went (bad mistake), and ended up cutting about 50% of the work, hence my progress bar hasn’t been touched for several days.

I’ve taken care of the cats, and the fish, and a whole lot of housework. I’ve done gardening, and grocery shopping, and maintained contact with my social groups. I cooked many delicious things, most of which I promptly ate. I’ve currently got two major crocheting projects half-finished that I can barely bring myself to look at, because I know how much longer it will take me to finish them, and don’t you know, I have other things to do!

Yeah… It’s about time to rein in the wild, galloping centaur at the core of my multi-project enthusiasm so I can just get things done. It’s hard coming to terms with priorities. Sometimes, for me, it seems like an insurmountable task.

~A

I have the picture, but not the location

Posted on by Ashlee Scheuerman in Thoughts

I’m planning to get a second tattoo in the semi-near future. It took me a while to settle on a design. I’ve wanted more ink since I got my first piece years ago, and it’s been an ongoing dance of choices and passing fancies. I don’t get tattoos without a very long decision period. I was drawing my first tattoo on myself for months before I got the permanent copy. I still love my tattoo.

There are two images that I am very fond of as tattoos. One is a picture of an owl, which I would get on the inside of my right forearm, at the widest point near my elbow. It would be a brown-dominant tattoo rather than black, as they usually are. But it’s not my immediate choice, because I’ve drawn myself another picture.

It’s a compass. As in, directional. In the centre is a tree, shaped like an aged bonsai, with leaves trailing away, changing from a vibrant, flourishing green into the beautiful yellow, orange, red of autumn. At the cardinal and intermediate directions spread the symbols of the Vegvísir, the traditional Icelandic runic compass.

I took inspiration from other images and drew the complete design by hand. It contains images of things that I have great respect for, or just resonate with me. Every time I look at the picture, I still love it. Love, love, love it. But I have a problem… I don’t know where I want it.

I don’t often have trouble deciding things like the ideal location of a tattoo if I think something would be awesome. The two notions tend to go hand in hand: “If I wanted this as a tat, I’d get it on this part of my body”. Not so with my compass. It’s definitely a larger image, so I’ve considered my thigh, or my stomach. I don’t like the idea of ink on my back, because I wouldn’t be able to see my own tattoo! It wouldn’t fit nicely on my arms, or lower on my legs. I don’t think I’m a chest, collarbone or neck tattoo kind of person unless I went straight for the manubrium, and that would still leave me with the trouble of not seeing it well. I would be in front of a mirror an awful lot!

I guess you understand my trouble.

My only reasonable solution to this problem is to buy some of that print-you-own temporary tattoo paper and trial the locations I’m interested in. My husband is doing his illustrator thing and creating a finalised design for me where everything’s meticulously measured out and uniform (rather than my rough hand drawn version). Then, we will just have to see.

~A

The great crochet of 2011

Posted on by Ashlee Scheuerman in Crafting

I’ve definitely been obsessed with yarns lately. I blame the local major craft store for having delicious, delicious sales. Now that we’re moving into summer, the popularity of knitting and such will probably dwindle, plus, we’ll be getting in all the new season stock from the Northern Hemisphere eventually. Whatever the case, I saw all those wonderful, super soft colours and fluffy yarns and had to get them!

Speaking of obsessions, I am of the absolute firm belief that you can never have to many blankets. Bedspreads, knee blankets or snuggly rugs; if it is warm and soft, you should probably have it, or gift it to someone else. Indeed, since I carry rugs in my car (just in case!), I’ve even given one to a homeless man.

Of course, put these two things together, and I am crocheting a whole lot of blankets. A couple of smaller ones for family with babies, and a couple of larger ones to give as Christmas gifts, even though giving a rug as a present in the middle of summer would likely strike someone as especially odd.

The first of the larger blankets is made from “random” coloured squares sewn together. As much as I am loving the results already, this is pretty complicated and takes a lot of attention. I wrote out the pattern to follow (random is never as random as you think), and have to tick each segment off as I’m done. It’s going to look super awesome when it’s finished, but I will also be kind of relieved when I don’t have to think so hard about it.

The second larger blanket will just be a standard repeating pattern in the squares, though I am actually intending on rectangles. We’ll see how that goes. In general, stitching the same pattern for each segment will make that one a lot simpler to work on. I’m also looking forward to that one in a ridiculous way; I have some gorgeous fawn and rainbow coloured yarns to use, and cannot WAIT to see the result!

And yes, I’m crocheting more than I’m writing, but you can be assured that I’m getting words out every day! It might not quite qualify as my marathon just yet, but I’m pleased with the progress nevertheless.

~A

Just half of a fully forgotten memory

Posted on by Ashlee Scheuerman in Other Writers, Thoughts

I collect things. Anyone who knows me in person can probably tell you something I collect. Ask ten different people, and they probably tell you I collect ten different things. The truth is, I just keep stuff, not in a deadly-hoarder kind of fashion, but in the “this is useful or interesting or taught me something valuable and I must retain it until it no longer serves that purpose to me” kind of way.

Books, and video games (spanning well over two decades of production), DVDs and CDs flow out of a dozen shelves in my house. I have small wooden boxes and large vintage suitcases, collections of wool, yarn, thread, and scraps of fabric for sewing and creating. Tumbled gemstones, Tarot decks, notebooks and little paper and fabric gift baggies that I usually find another great purpose for.

I also collect quotes and inspiring stories. My favourite is collecting writing advice that doesn’t tell you any of the specific things, but rings that clear, pealing bell inside me, the one that says, “TRUTH!”.

Now, I don’t have the best functioning memory in the world. I usually attribute that to replacing memories too frequently with new information, new ideas. I don’t recall specifics of things I’ve read very well, and that is a kind of blessing. Some days when I’m feeling really lost or uninspired, I might decide to browse through my interesting writing file. Just see if I’ve got anything in there that will remind me why I should do any of it.

I’ll usually find something. Rather, I usually find this blog post by Merlin Mann: Making the Clackity Noise. I can’t remember where I first found this article, or why I read it. It came from somewhere.

It rang true to me in all the right ways. And even if I don’t always end up writing something significant afterwards, I’m happy, because just a little bit of a story fell out of me. I think we get way too caught up trying to do it “right”. There isn’t a right. There is, however, a write. That’s what I’m going to briefly remember to do.

~A

Congratulations, Amazon

Posted on by Ashlee Scheuerman in Thoughts

The newest Kindle iteration has come just in time. I was already considering an e-reader for my birthday this November, but hadn’t quite been convinced of what I wanted. The announcement of a smaller, simpler Kindle has sealed the deal for me. It’s cheaper, and doesn’t have unnecessary bells and whistles that I really don’t want on a device used for reading books.

My primary purpose for ever wanting an e-reader has been to carry a selection of texts with me in a lightweight and ultra-portable device. The opportunity to download all those free books is just a delight for me, because while I love real books and always will, I usually can’t justify buying many of them with my budget. There’s an entire library worth of old books that are now free to acquire, and I will finally get a chance to read, or re-read the “classics”.

I find it a real chore to read novel-length works on my computer screens, and indeed, I still haven’t finished reading a small handful of e-books I’ve already bought/downloaded because it’s just uncomfortable and inconvenient. I want to be able to read in bed, or at the park, or in the car.

Of course, I doubt I’ll ever use an e-reader as my primary reading source. Books have too many things that you can’t recreate electronically. They feel good, and have textured pages. They smell of paper and ink and other books. There’s the sound of turning the page, and the satisfying faint clomp of closing the book when you’ve finished a great story. The cover art, and browsing the spines, and the small details like publisher logos…

One thing I definitely won’t mind is a lack of dust covers! I always take them off my hardcover books when reading, since I tend to tear them otherwise. But I really do hope my eventual experience with the newest Kindle exceeds my expectations. Even if I resent the idea that my books can run out of battery. 😉

~A