I’m, ah, not precisely a patient person. When weeks worth of effort, nearly two straight months, still hasn’t gotten me where I want to be, it usually takes a lot for me to persist. I might be stubborn, but I’m impatient, and that can make for a bad combination. Often, if something hasn’t come to pass in due time, I will find something more interesting to focus on.
The good news is, I haven’t lost interest in my writing projects, even if they’re taking way too long! Quite the opposite, I’m almost rabidly obsessed, even now. I don’t feel the need to rush off and do something else yet, I just keep heading back and chipping away. Will I meet my deadlines? Nope. Is the end in sight? Only if you can look far enough ahead! I’m just feeling really enthusiastic to have it done, completed, ready to release to the world, and I’m just not getting there in the timeframe I wanted. It’s not coming from a place of anxiety, thankfully, just a real lot of eagerness. I’m ready for the next part, the next book, the next idea.
I know I need to be easy on myself; there have been a lot of extra hours worked at my day job, and that “life” thing has been a pesky distraction more than a couple of times. I’ve managed to do a little bit every day, so there is a build-up of progress. Slowly but surely. I would like to be able to set out the new deadline and know I will meet it solidly, but I really can’t be certain. Even if I average out the previous work, I won’t get a good estimation, because nothing goes along so simply as that!
Instead, I have chosen to redefine my illusion of time. It’s kind of an effort in willfully ignoring the problem of doing anything does take time, since if I stop paying attention to how long it’s taking me, I no longer need to worry about it. I know, this is the opposite way most people feel they should work, but I am entirely aware of how much I do every day (both in writing, and the rest of life), so all it comes back to it “time” being the problem. Henceforth, time’s relative existence is not my concern. It’s all going to happen. Eventually.